It has very little to do with how hard you work. — Whether you’re trying to get better at Jiu-Jitsu, playing the flute, or flipping burgers, the biggest obstacle that you have to get past to make progress in different skills is yourself. Yes — there are other obstacles in the way of your progress, but obstacles aren’t usually as important as…

When the going gets tough, remember this. — Life’s been tough recently. I moved cities, have been competing literally all over the world, and traveling constantly. I’m trying to adjust to a new place, manage my relationships, and make new friends — all at the same time. I’ve dealt with feelings of anxiety, sadness, and agony — sometimes…

If I could do it all again. — Earlier this week, I stumbled across a picture of when I was 18 years old and living in Eugene, Oregon. I was a freshman in college, and the life that I am now living wasn’t just an impossibility, it was so far removed from what I was doing at the…

Getting what you need so you can get what you want. — When I was coaching Jiu-Jitsu full-time, beginners would often tell me that they were nervous about their competition matches. When a competition came around, the DMs and post-class conversations would start up like clockwork. Grown men with successful businesses, flourishing families, and otherwise happy lives would have their minds in…

Overcoming plateaus and frustration. — I know what it feels like to be frustrated with your BJJ skill development. That feeling that like whatever you do, you’re not going to get better. That feeling like you’re doing something wrong, but you have no idea what. That feeling like quitting is a better idea than persisting. …

Or life, I guess. — A few years ago, I read a book by the psychologist Jordan Peterson called 12 Rules For Life. Around that time, a lot of people were mad about Peterson’s political views — a lot of which were and are fairly controversial — but this article isn’t about that. This article…

Yes — it’s super depressing — but there’s more. — When I first started writing, I was mostly just trauma-dumping. I wanted to prove that I was “damaged enough” to be a writer. This girl broke my heart, the sport I do is hard to make a living in, my body is injured, personal trauma this, personal trauma that. Likewise…

What most guys get wrong. — I am not a relationship expert. If anything, I am a hypocrite. I am not a relationship expert, but I’ve written literally hundreds of articles on relationships online (that are under someone else’s name). I haven’t had a crazy amount of relationship experience, but I have had enough experience to…

“The reason to win the game is so that you can be free of it.” — Naval — Most people close to me would say that I’m a bit of a grump, but I still consider myself to be extremely optimistic. The optimism is new, though. I haven’t always believed that the world was a good place. When I was younger, my only dream was to be a…